Pictures and thoughts

This is what I found a few mornings ago when I went to check on Elijah. He wasn't fussing or making a sound. I have no idea how long he had been awake, but there he was, wide eyed and looking so precious. My heart melted. I love cuddling in bed with him - he's so sweet in the mornings. I think he took after Momma and will be a morning person. He mostly sleeps in his bassinet - unless he's not sleeping well, then I put him in bed with me. Please - no comments about the hazards of belly sleeping...


Steven James Miller - my brothers adorable baby. Until this past weekend, I hadn't seen the little guy in a while. He is not a fat baby, but is s o l i d just like his Daddy. He has such a happy, bubbly personality. He's so precious.


My brother and I with our little ones. Timothy said "Ha ha, I beat ya." I told him I didn't know we were in a competition... and although he may have had his baby first, I had the cutest baby! LOL I don't really understand the beard - it has something to do with a weight loss competition at work. Since Steven was born, Timothy has lost about 50 lbs. (Steven is almost 7 months old) Timothy said he was going to shave when the competition was over.
When Mikah saw Timothy's beard, she wouldn't go near Timothy. He was trying to hug her, but she didn't want to go near him. I finally convinced her to touch his beard... and then convinced her to pull it - to see if it was really attached. She giggled so much! She thought that was hilarious!
One last picture of my little man. This picture really shows off the shape of his chin. With my wide jaw structure and Daddy's chin, Elijah has a perfect little heart shaped chin and a dimple in the middle to boot! I think it's adorable. He's growing like a weed. Last night he went 9 hours between feedings. I was shocked! Of course, I was sound asleep and had no idea it had been that long until he woke me up. I knew he was starving by then. Even though he was starving, he had all kinds of smiles for me.

I am asking for your prayers this week. I've really not told anyone the depth of the struggle I've been going through knowing that I must go back to work next week. Depression has a whole new meaning to me. I keep telling myself that it is my hormones, but I know, and God knows, I have been battling a much larger, spiritual battle over this as well. I know He will provide a way someday for me to stay at home; until then, I will somehow cope. I want to scream, cry, pull my hair out, etc. but I know none of it will change anything or do anyone any good. Instead, I probably spend to much time holding and rocking Elijah... even if he's asleep. I don't really know why I'm sharing this with you all now, but it's on my mind (again) and I thought it might help to get some of this off my chest.
On a happier note, here's a video of Mikah's birthday party. Watch her and listen to that precious giggle:

Comments

Anonymous said…
My heart breaks for you and I have thought about you a lot recently but have never wanted to ask about who would be keeping Elijah when you go to work. I can not even imagine what your going through but it is okay to hold him and rock him even if he is sleeping. I suffered from depression after Eli was born and that is all I did was hold him. I seriously hardly ever put him down unless I went to the bathroom. Other people rarely got to hold him. I can honestly say he is not hurt from all the holding he got. He can play by himself and fall asleep on his own and he evens sleeps in his own bed. So it's okay. I love you bunches and will be praying extra hard for you next week. God will answer your prayers because I believe it is Gods will for you to stay home. It is hard to take that step out of the workforce and when I done it a little over 2 years ago we had no clue what we would do finacially. However, I believe God blessed us because I was where he wanted me to be. I of course do in home daycare to help us now but I am at home with my little ones. Your dream will come true just keep the faith to take the leap!
sdlanc5 said…
Wow your little one is so cute and all that hair. I think Timothy has a cute one too. I hate to hear that you have to go back to work I would hate to do that. I will be praying for you. Lord Bless and Have a good weekend
Sylvia P said…
I just loved the pictures!!! And yes, he does have the cutest chin! Little Steven is cute too! Believe it or not, the past week or two, when I prayed for you I have felt to pray for the struggle you must be going through, having to back to work...so the Lord is mindful of your cry! Love you and will keep praying for you!
Lori Medlin said…
You know I will be praying for you this week! This will be one of the hardest things you have ever done.... Just know it won't last long!
Anonymous said…
You're in my prayers. God is working in so many ways - I know he'll help you.
I've always put my babies to sleep on their tummies (after about the first month or so). Kevin was SO colicy and his pediatrician said to lay him on his stomach - oh my... he slept so much better. Connor is the only one who lies on his back at times - I put him down on his tummy, and sometimes he winds up sleeping on his back... just depends.
I've always wondered how babies can handle spitting up and burping if they're on their back. Even when their first newborn, I prop them on their side. Connor is the first baby I've had that burps and spits up, and it just seems that he'd choke.... or be uncomfortable not being able to burp. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've just done what works for me.
I think you have to figure out what works best for you. A long time ago, "they" said NOT to lay babies on their backs. Now, it's DON'T lay them on their stomachs. What next? You're the mommy and you know best for your baby. I think you're a splendid mommy!
I love the pics. Timothy looks great! The babies are so cute! Mikah's darling! Keep posting :)
Anonymous said…
OH, I meant to say how wonderful you are looking too! Have you lost more than your prego weight? You're doing GREAT! It took me 6 mos of hard work to lose it all this time. GOOD GOING!
Lorrie said…
Pearl,
I am not usually able to keep my grocery bill so low every week. I just happened to find some great deals as well as I was already well stocked.
The grocery budget my husband gave me earlier this year was $75 a week. Since we try to eat only fresh, unprocessed, and organic if possible. I am trying to get my weekly total to no more then $50.
Anonymous said…
I put all 4 of my babies on their stomach to sleep.That is the ONLY way they would sleep halfway decent!I just checked on them a lot. You look SUPER,Girl!!After my c-section,it was a full 2 years before I returned to my normal weight.How do you all do that?!?! Sharon F
Megalamode said…
You look great!! That's so cute about Mikah and Timothy. Also, Elijah must have been pondering life very thoughtfully if he was happy being awake by himself. :) Aurora starts the "Maaaaahhh meeeee"'s the second she wakes up.

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