Friday, November 14, 2008

Pictures and thoughts

This is what I found a few mornings ago when I went to check on Elijah. He wasn't fussing or making a sound. I have no idea how long he had been awake, but there he was, wide eyed and looking so precious. My heart melted. I love cuddling in bed with him - he's so sweet in the mornings. I think he took after Momma and will be a morning person. He mostly sleeps in his bassinet - unless he's not sleeping well, then I put him in bed with me. Please - no comments about the hazards of belly sleeping...

Steven James Miller - my brothers adorable baby. Until this past weekend, I hadn't seen the little guy in a while. He is not a fat baby, but is s o l i d just like his Daddy. He has such a happy, bubbly personality. He's so precious.

My brother and I with our little ones. Timothy said "Ha ha, I beat ya." I told him I didn't know we were in a competition... and although he may have had his baby first, I had the cutest baby! LOL I don't really understand the beard - it has something to do with a weight loss competition at work. Since Steven was born, Timothy has lost about 50 lbs. (Steven is almost 7 months old) Timothy said he was going to shave when the competition was over.
When Mikah saw Timothy's beard, she wouldn't go near Timothy. He was trying to hug her, but she didn't want to go near him. I finally convinced her to touch his beard... and then convinced her to pull it - to see if it was really attached. She giggled so much! She thought that was hilarious!
One last picture of my little man. This picture really shows off the shape of his chin. With my wide jaw structure and Daddy's chin, Elijah has a perfect little heart shaped chin and a dimple in the middle to boot! I think it's adorable. He's growing like a weed. Last night he went 9 hours between feedings. I was shocked! Of course, I was sound asleep and had no idea it had been that long until he woke me up. I knew he was starving by then. Even though he was starving, he had all kinds of smiles for me.

I am asking for your prayers this week. I've really not told anyone the depth of the struggle I've been going through knowing that I must go back to work next week. Depression has a whole new meaning to me. I keep telling myself that it is my hormones, but I know, and God knows, I have been battling a much larger, spiritual battle over this as well. I know He will provide a way someday for me to stay at home; until then, I will somehow cope. I want to scream, cry, pull my hair out, etc. but I know none of it will change anything or do anyone any good. Instead, I probably spend to much time holding and rocking Elijah... even if he's asleep. I don't really know why I'm sharing this with you all now, but it's on my mind (again) and I thought it might help to get some of this off my chest.
On a happier note, here's a video of Mikah's birthday party. Watch her and listen to that precious giggle:

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