Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Self discipline

I'm now two weeks and two days closer to my dream of staying home with my babies!!!  Even though it seems the days are dragging, I know, it will be here before I know it.  I've been mentally preparing myself for the self discipline I know I'm going to need once I am at home full time.  After working 12+ years of our marriage, I know it would be so easy to become a couch potato, an Internet junky, a TV bug, etc. etc.  After all, instead of having a few precious minutes to clean house (or all those other wonderful motherly/house-wifey chores), I will have all day.  I'm not crazy - I see how easy it will be to allow myself the luxury of staying in bed, or other fun things.

Let me first explain one thing: I'm married to a Mr. Command (taken from Created to Be His Help Meet).  I love my Mr. Command dearly.  He's a wonderful provider, a great father, and loves God.  What more could a girl ask for?  He says that he knows there will be days the house won't be clean, dinner won't be ready, and the kids will all be screaming.  He's right.  There will be those days.  But he's the type of guy that can excuse one day.  Day two of this scenario won't set well with him.  He likes to see things done - whatever the goal is for the day, he will accomplish it and expects the same for those around him.  So as you can see, I'm very much aware that I could get by with a day or two of enjoying life, but then I'll have to face the reality of it all.

I'm trying to gain back some of the ground I've lost over the past three years.  Since I've had Elijah, I know my house doesn't stay spotless like it used to.  (I've even had people make comments something like "wow, your house actually gets dirty?")  My laundry doesn't stay caught up.  It's pretty common to see a mountain of clean laundry sitting at the dining room table.  And the list goes on and on.  So how do I gain back this ground without feeling like I'm working non-stop?  Besides - I'm pregnant - and really don't feel like just killing myself with extra work.

I've decided to go back to some of the FLYlady basics.  I have used her techniques in the past and had remarkable results.  I let it go because, believe it or not, I tend to be a perfectionist.  If I miss a mission, I think I've got to get it caught up the next day.  If I don't get the zone completely cleaned, then I try to cover two zones at once. All the perfectionist things that FlyLady tells you NOT to do. Ugh.  So I've got my daily checklist of chores.  Last night I wasn't able to complete everything on the list, but I'm telling myself that it's okay.  Move on.  Today is a new day.

What other techniques and suggestions are there?  I'm open for improvement.  Yes, I know that I won't be a perfect housewife - that's not my goal.  My goal is to simply stay on top of the basics.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

No worries!

This morning I woke up wondering where we're going to fit everything in our little house after our new baby arrives.  The guest bedroom doubles as storage room and I have no idea where we're going to put everything when we move Elijah to that room.  I don't know why this suddenly popped in my mind this morning.  I hadn't thought a thing about it until then. 

There are times when discontentment creeps in and I wish for a larger house.  Then reality hits and I know how hard it must be to keep up with a big house!  Having another baby will make our home seem smaller, but it's so cozy and cute. We've worked hard on this house - it would be really tough to let it go.

Now don't get the idea we're moving - 'cause we've not talked about it!  I'm just rambling and thinking out loud.

Elijah is quite excited about being a big brother.  He frequently asks about the baby wondering when the baby will be here.  He usually proceeds to tell me how he's going to hold the baby and be so careful.  The other day he found my iPhone pregnancy app.  It has pictures of the baby as it develops.  He brought it to me with a very solemn face; "Mom, what is that?"  I mentally debated for a few seconds on how to answer.  I finally bit the bullet and explained it is the baby.  I showed him the progress as the baby grows and told him that Mommy's belly is going to get really big.  I explained I have to go to the doctor to get the baby out.  He took the phone in his hands and stared at the picture for quite a long time.  Finally he looks up and says "Mom, does your belly hurt with that ball in it?"  I told him no but he was quite concerned.  He asked me several times if my belly was okay.  Since then, he's asked to "see the baby".  He'll just look at the latest picture as if trying to memorize it.  I think he's going to be a great big brother. 

I've also explained that after the baby gets here, Mommy will be staying home with him.  He is very excited about this and asks nearly every day if the baby is here yet.  When I tell him no, he then tells me "but I want her here now!"  Poor guy might have a hard time waiting out these 9 months!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Miracles Still Happen - Part 2

A few weeks back, I posted Miracles Still Happen; the story of the power of a simple prayer. I wanted to give an update about my back. It is 100% better. Nearly every day, as I go about my daily tasks, I am reminded of how my back used to respond to a simple duties I would be doing. For example: I used to guard how I stood when I cleaned the bathtub, bent to pick up toys, or even my shoes. I no longer feel the need to stand a certain way while doing these simple tasks!! Even sitting certain ways affected my back. NO MORE! The healing is, no doubt, miraculous! I am so thankful God extended His healing hand and touched my back!

So – in other news, the end of October, I had a sneaking suspicion I was pregnant. But then again, I’ve played a lot of mind games with myself in the past. I would be a few days late, take a pregnancy test, only to start a few hours later. This time, I decided to beat myself at the mind game and get the pregnancy test done and over with! Except… it came back positive!

I hyperventilated.

Even though I thought I wanted another child, to have one coming unexpectedly was a big shock to the system! I hid out in the bathroom for a while debating on how I was going to tell Chris. I really thought he would be upset. I finally decided to face it head on and tell him.

He didn’t believe me. At first. Then I think the look on my face registered with him and he knew I was serious. Needless to say, neither of us got much sleep that night.

On Monday (10/31/11) morning, I went to work but kept to myself in my cube. I was afraid to face anyone because I thought they too would know by the look on my face. Plus, I was still dealing with it. I knew financially we couldn’t afford for me to stay at home yet. That was pretty upsetting. Plus knowing Chris didn’t get much sleep caused me to feel he was upset which in turn upset me even more. Babies are supposed to be a time of joy – but I wasn’t feeling any joy yet.

Monday at noon, I went home and was met by Chris who was beaming! His smile was so big and contagious! He looked at me and said “I’ve been pushing some numbers” Of course, I didn’t give him time to finish his sentence before thinking “he just means that we can afford this baby”. Instead, he finished the sentence with “and you should be able to stay at home this time”. WHAT??? Did I hear that right??? He went on to explain there would be several (major) changes that need to be made, but by God’s grace, we could do it.

WOW. Now I’m getting excited about the baby! Or wait – is it excitement that I’ll be staying at home?

We told Elijah our good news. He was very excited to be a big brother. We let him call Nanny and Granna to tell them the good news. He was so excited to say “I’m gonna be a big brudder”! Of course, both grandmothers hesitated to believe him but were very excited when Chris and I confirmed the good news! He is still so excited about the baby and talks of how he’s going to hold the new baby and “be very careful”.

That same Monday evening, we decided to visit Chris’ parents for a few minutes. As we were getting ready to pull out of the drive, Chris’ headlight switch broke – for good. It had been messed up for a while but he’d been limping by because these switches are an $80 part. I assured him that’s what our emergency fund is for. You can’t go without a head light switch! Guess what? Chris got online and found the part for $31 including S&H! Thank you Lord!

Tuesday night, Chris shot a very large buck! It was a beautiful 12-point buck that had a drop tine. If you’re like me, you have no idea of the importance or rarity of a drop tine, but take my word for it: a drop tine is a big deal. Chris was so thankful to have shot this magnificent deer. And to make things even better, the deer dropped when Chris shot it. For hunters this is a big thing – no searching the woods for a deer – in the dark! In addition, not only was this a beautiful deer, we harvested about 35 pounds of meat from this deer. Another big blessing – thank you Lord!

On Thursday, Chris’ friend and co-worker turned in his notice. Although Chris will miss Andy tremendously (they’d worked together for about 10 years), Chris has been given overtime. This is an additional $350-$500 per month! Another BIG blessing – thank you Lord!

All these blessings were a confirmation to Chris and I that he’d made the right decision. It was if our Heavenly Father was saying, “See? Trust me and I will provide for you.” We’re humbled by His faithfulness to us and so excited by the upcoming changes in our lives.

Sunday, our pastor spoke an amazing message on how God will “set us up”. He will allow things in our lives to see our reactions. Are we going to trust Him completely? How will we react to the test? With heavy heart or with a heart of thanksgiving and praise? It was one more confirmation to me that God heard my prayers and would provide for us if we’d only believe in Him. At the end of this amazing service, our pastor’s wife came to the front of the church and requested the church pray for Chris and I for the upcoming months. Their prayers meant so much to me.

I have NO DOUBT that God will work out EVERY detail. Several years ago, while praying about staying home, I heard the audible voice of God speak “I will provide for you, I will make a way.” I have His spoken word – why should I doubt? As of now, the plan is that I’ll work up to delivery, but I leave this decision in the hands of God. We’ve still got 9 months ahead of us and a lot can happen in that time frame.

My heart is overflowing! God has been so good to me.

(Chris hasn’t wanted me to put this on FB yet, but I wanted to go ahead and blog because I know the details I want to remember will start fading from my ever shortening memory.)