Yesterday I posted E's birthday and Christmas list... It was so hard not to smile as he was very serious about this list. I find that if I lose my composure and smile, even the tiniest bit... I lose that moment's connection with him. I want to keep that connection for the rest of his life... so I'm learning composure... or at least trying.
This morning I was working on something online... suddenly to my left, an orange and white rifle barrel appeared over my shoulder. My first reaction was to scold E for sticking a gun barrel by my face. (We're trying to teach gun handling and safety, even with the toys). Instead of scolding, I turned to him and asked "why did you do that?"
E: "Because I wanted to get your attention."
Me: "Why do you need my attention."
E: "Because I want to talk to you."
Me: (eagerly thinking: oh wow, a chance to connect with my "baby" boy) "You have my attention. What do you want to talk about?"
E: "Well, I just wanted to tell you that my son died two weeks ago."
Me: (thinking: What!?!? You interrupted me to tell you that your imaginary son died two weeks ago????) "Oh, Baby, I am so sorry to hear that! Are you okay?" [as I give hugs and comfort to my "grieving" son]
E: "Weeellll.... yeah, I am now. Because my big brother is going to beat me up on Tuesday."
How can you have this type of conversation and KEEP YOUR COMPOSURE??? I struggled! Yes, I rubbed my nose, coughed, hid my smile behind my hand. Somehow I pulled it off. I guess. He went on to tell me that the son that died had actually done something else (I can't remember now) and needed to go to jail now. With that he ran off to his room to put his son in jail.
He's all boy. And I do love that imagination of his.