On that same Wednesday, I had been rushing around here trying to get house work done, laundry caught up, and getting ready to leave for our annual ladies retreat. I know I turned Elijah down, more than once, when he asked me to read a book or play with him. I remember telling him that Mommy was just too busy. Then the news reports and Facebook posts started coming through. I was devastated and felt about 2" tall. Devastated for my friends and family... and realizing how I take my own family for granted.
I've asked myself the same question over and over... if I knew my son would live to only be 21, what would I do different? How would I handle his picky eating if I knew tomorrow he would draw his last breath? Would I hug him more? Would I play with him more? Would the way he picks on his baby brother really be that big of a deal? I realize I still have to set boundaries for him, but honestly, you and I both know what the priorities would be if we knew our child's hours were limited.
The name of my blog is "Savoring the Moments". Based on how I don't want to forget anything about their childhood. First of all, I'm terrible about blogging so I can't really count on this being a good remembrance. Second of all, who cares if I remember in 50 years? I've realized that I need to live in this moment. Be grateful for today. This moment, this hour. If I can't remember the exact details, it won't matter. But, if I can make a difference in the life of my child... if I can build a solid relationship with him today. Then tomorrow (or 50 years from now) the memories will be precious, and I'll rejoice knowing I lived in the present. Oh I'll keep making notes on the calendar... I'll keep posting little incidents on Facebook... and occasionally I'll blog. But my focus will be: God and my family.
To the Armstrong and Tarrance families:
May God give you His peace that passes all understanding.
May He wrap His loving arms around you as only our Heavenly Father can.
Rest in knowing that Brian and Cooper will never hurt again.
They are dancing together... rejoicing with the angels.
And if they could speak to you, they would tell you:
"Keep going. Hang in there. It will be worth it all in the end!"